cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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