the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
