meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
