After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
