hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
