you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
