She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My pussy is not your playground.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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