did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize
