Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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