if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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