One girl and one boy is just not enough.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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