No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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