He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
