After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
