spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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