Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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