So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
