no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
