Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I touched a dick in church today
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
