The best revenge is premature balding
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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