Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
