Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
