so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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