she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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