What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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