Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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