I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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