first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
