My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
