I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
