Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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