She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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