Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
