Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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