i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
smell my finger.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I stole a fireplace last night.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
