Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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