If i come over, it means nothing
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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