I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She needs sedatives and a leash
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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