I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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