Kiss
Puke
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
the liver wants what the liver wants
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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