end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
