He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
im six kinds of drunk right now
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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