you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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