The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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