it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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