Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
