Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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