My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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