is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
