Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
worst night to have a conscience
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
