I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
