lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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