I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
